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How have you been?

When someone ask's this question it's always loaded. You shouldn't ask that question if you don't want the honest truth.


Honestly? I have actually been pretty damn good. Of course I have battles. We all do. I still get triggered. It's a matter of taking a breath and usually smoking a J. Then I step back up and try again.


I realize that in separating myself from Larry, that I had to find my own identity. I still suppress rage at that ignorant piece of shit. I feel it's almost expected. 38 or so years of conditioning. Being left with him at every turn still eats at me.


I now know what really caused my 2nd nervous breakdown. It was due to so many people at the toughest point in my entire life walking away. That kid inside of me who had always been told he would be shipped off was inside screaming. I was no longer needed. Maybe it was social status. Maybe it was the viciousness I displayed. Maybe it was the fact they had been a vulture picking away at my life and nothing was left. Oh yeah I saw you.


So how have I been? How have we been? Well there are some people who are starting to come back around. But ya know I am still rebuilding and I am doing good. We have been doing okay.

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